With Valentine’s Day approaching, there is, of course, an emphasis on expressing our love to our loved ones with cards, flowers, candy, jewelry, cars, fruit, etc. But what if we told people we loved them on a more regular basis, not just because of the cultural push of this month? What if we expressed love to people, despite cultural rules that we NOT, because of pride, or love of self, or whatever? Can you imagine an experiment if the world, altogether, all at once, tried to do this for a day, or a week, what the difference might be? Why do people love Hallmark movies so much? Is it because they present a kinder, gentler, world? Just sayin…
At the Last Supper, after he had washed the disciples’ feet, and after he identified Judas as his betrayer, and after Judas left to indeed betray Jesus, as the hours and minutes were ticking down to his death, one of the last things that Jesus told his disciples was:
“A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. 35 By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.” (John 13:34-35 KJV)
Later, in the same discourse, Jesus said:
“He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him. 22 Judas saith unto him, not Iscariot, Lord, how is it that thou wilt manifest thyself unto us, and not unto the world? 23 Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him. 24 He that loveth me not keepeth not my sayings: and the word which ye hear is not mine, but the Father’s which sent me.” (John 14:21-24 KJV)
Peter continued the teaching:
“Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently: 23 Being born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, by the word of God, which liveth and abideth for ever.” 91 (Peter 1:22-23 KJV)
“And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8 KJV)
Following is an excerpt from a post from www.aletiei.org, written by Meg Hunter-Kilmer, that I found while writing this, that brings it all together beautifully:
“Somewhere, deep down, is written on the human heart this plea of St. Peter: let your love for one another be intense. When tragedy strikes, people of every faith and no faith act with powerful love toward strangers. And while I won’t pretend that this outpouring of compassion and generosity covers over the evil of the crime, it is a consolation to know that here on this earth we are loved. Even with all the ugliness in the world, the Spirit of God still prompts people to unfathomable kindness.
Christians, we need to be at the forefront of this movement of love. Pray for that day when there are no more tears, yes, but work now to love intensely. Not just when tragedy strikes (as it will, and soon) but now. Love your families—Mother Teresa says it’s the best way to promote world peace. Love your neighbors. Not just your everyone-is-my-neighbor neighbors but the actual people on your street. Especially the ones who are different from you. Stop analyzing whether you agree with the way they live and just bake them some cookies. It’s not sacrificial love, exactly, but it’s a start.
In the early Church, Tertullian tells us that pagans were struck by the witness of Christian love. “See how they love one another!” they would remark. I wonder how many people look at us and say the same. “By this shall all men know that you are my disciples,” Jesus tells the Apostles, “if you have love one for another.” (John 13:35) This intense love Peter talks about doesn’t just cover over a multitude of sins, it’s a litmus test of faith. Not how often you pray or how much you tithe or how many people you’ve slept with but how hard you love.
Oh, the rest of it matters, of course. But according to St. Peter, it doesn’t matter as much as loving people in real, tangible, self-sacrificing ways. Most of these are small—calling your mother, really listening when people speak to you, expressing condolences when someone is grieving, mowing the neighbor’s lawn. But a lifetime of little acts of love becomes shot through with the life of God and the people you touch will have a much easier time believing that he will wipe away every tear if they’ve felt his love through you.”
And Jesus, took the concept of love to even a further step: love your enemies [not just your brethren]. (Matthew 5:44).
I think that one reason why people dropped everything and followed Jesus was because they could feel his love for them and it was irresistible. Some of us have been blessed to know humans for whom extending themselves as described in the excerpt above comes naturally. They give you their undivided attention. You are the only person in the room when they are talking to you, and you want more time with them. They always have a kind word, no matter what. They are gracious. They see the best in every situation. They simply do not engage negativity. They always take the “high road.” They exhibit that warmth, that love, that character of Jesus (whether they know it or not).
I confess I am not one of these humans, but wish I were. It is not my nature or my first reaction, to be kind to someone who is not kind to me. I really struggle with that. I think the answer is to start with prayer for the unkind person, and prayer for strength to surrender my selfish nature, then, step-by-step, choose, in each moment of confrontation, small actions that demonstrate that surrender. If you have any other suggestions, I’d love to hear them. Leave a comment!
They’ll Know We Are Christians (by Fr. Peter Scholtes, 1966)
We are one in the Spirit, we are one in the Lord
We are one in the Spirit, we are one in the Lord
And we pray that our unity will one day be restored
And they’ll know we are Christians by our love, by our love
Yeah they’ll know we are Christians by our love
We will work with each other, we will work side by side
We will work with each other, we will work side by side
And we’ll guard each man’s dignity and save each man’s pride
And they’ll know we are Christians by our love, by our love
Yeah, they’ll know we are Christians by our love.